Doris Norskey
1928 – 2021
Gardner, MA

There are many words and phrases that can be used to describe my mother-force of nature, a doer, generous to a fault, compassionate, devoted friend, musically talented, intellectually curious, lover of travel- I could go on and on.  But to me she was and will always be Mom, the one person in the world who knew me better than I know myself, the person I could call any time of day or night and who would answer the phone with a cheery ‘Hello!”.

As I think about my mother’s life and look at the photos my dad and I have pulled out of drawers and albums, I can clearly see that from her earliest days she was a force of nature.  We often laugh that the expressions on her face were all Doris from the time she was a young girl to her later years.  It was a face full of curiosity and joy. But as my dad says, underneath her sweet nature was a spine of steel that you did not want to encounter!

Mom grew up in Gardner MA with her parents Delina and John, her older sister Grace and her brother Michael who tragically died in 1930 at the age of 8.  Her father owned a fruit and vegetable store in town.  They lived on Abbott street for many years.  They eventually moved up town to Margaret Street in 1940. According to dad, that was a tough move for her.  Because she was not originally from that part of town, she was not as readily accepted by her peers.  That did not stop mom from excelling at every thing she did. By the time she was in high school she was a member of the band and of girls state, and met her closest friend of over 50 years, Virginia Aldrich. It also did not hinder her in any way meeting the love of her life, Alex Norskey, at a Gardner High Senior Prom when she was 17.  Dad was 16. Once they had found each other, they were inseparable.

Mom and Dad both went to the University of Massachusetts where dad excelled at sports and mom blossomed as an actress.  As a member of the famed Roister Doisters she performed on stage in many plays including Gaslight and I Remember Mama. She made life long friends as a member of the Kappa Alpha Theta sorority. In 1948 Doris led her sorority in winning the annual sing and declamation contest. They sang her favorite song, ‘In the Still of the Night’.

Upon graduating, Mom and her sister Grace embarked on the trip of a life time bicycling through Europe.  This trip sparked a love of traveling in mom.  Throughout her life she travelled the world with her close friend Virginia and with me.  To travel with mom was a privilege. To see her immerse herself in a culture, to always be ready for the next adventure, and to greet each day with unbridled enthusiasm, was something I will cherish all my life.  In addition to sparking a love of travel, this trip had a very religious significance for mom.  Being a devout Catholic, it was a deeply meaningful for her to meet Pope Pius XII. She also met a woman named Jackie on this trip who would become another lifelong friend.

Jackie became a cloistered nun shortly after their hostel trip.  Her relationship with Jackie motivated mom throughout her life to become a sincere and generous patron to multiple religious organizations. But, she did this in her own quiet way. She unfailingly contributed to the Maryknoll fathers every year.  Her faith in all aspects of her life was manifested in her sincere and quiet generosity towards others.  She had a particular affinity for caring for those is need, especially the infirm and the elderly.  She tenderly cared for her beloved mother and sister in their last years and comforted and cared for her most cherished friend, Virginia Aldrich when she lost her battle to cancer.  She never expected recognition or anything else in return for her ceaseless generosity.

Mom and Aunt Grace returned from their joyous trip to Europe to face the loss of their father, John, in October of 1950. This deeply affected mom and Grace.
In spite of this great loss, 1950’s were a decade of whirlwind changes for mom.  She became a teacher in Gardner in 1951, married the love of her life, Alex Norskey, in December of 1952, spent summers in Nova Scotia where dad played baseball, moved to Boston while dad was in dental school, and gave birth to their first of 4 daughters, Carol, in December of 1953.  A daughter Margaret followed in 1955.  1957 found the family in North Carolina at Fort Bragg where dad was a dentist in the army.

The Norskey and Carbone relatives visited them while at Fort Bragg.  Grandparents and aunts adored their little girls.  In October of 1957, I was born at Fort Bragg.  Shortly before dad’s stint in the army was over, he returned to Gardner to find a home for his new family.  He came upon a new Cape Cod style home on 2 Betty Road.  When he told mom about the house, she was thrilled, but was quite particular about changes that needed to be made before she arrived.  A closed in breezeway was first on her list!

In 1959 their fourth and final daughter, Gail, was born.  By this time, dad had a thriving dental practice in Gardner, and mom had immersed herself in caring for her daughters and her home.   She was a meticulous house keeper, but that did not stop her from having fun with us.  I clearly remember one day when she had a big appliance box in the kitchen and tubs of gray paint.  We painted the box and made a play house.  She was also an avid baker, and I spent many happy times sitting on the counter watching her.
By the early 1960’s we were outgrowing our 2 Betty Road home, so mom and dad built a new bigger home down the street.  Gail, who was not in school yet, spent many days with mom supervising the construction of mom’s dream home.  3 Highfield Road is still home today.  It is filled with love and memories that are not only in the hearts of her daughters, but also in the hearts of her 7 grandchildren who spent many a Christmas and other celebrations in the warmth of the home she and dad built.

From an early age, mom loved the ocean and beaches.  My grandparents, mom and Aunt Grace spent summers on Onset Beach.  The house they rented by the ocean and the beaches remained with her all of her life.  She was determined that her girls  would experience that she had as a child.  Each summer the family (including Aunts and Grandmothers!) would spend a few weeks at Salisbury beach.  When it became affordable, it became an all summer event.  Our rented home was situated on the beautiful dunes of Seabrook Beach.  Mom spirited us away to this oasis as soon as school ended (many times before it ended), and we would spent our days on the beach, swimming in the ocean, and playing in the dunes until Labor Day when we returned home to Gardner.  Dad would come up every weekend and for a longer vacation at the end of the summer. Like mom, dad also came from a family that loved the beach.  He speaks so fondly of the days his dad drove the family to Hampton Beach for the day. My Grandmother Norskey and Aunt Bernice spent many weeks with us at Seabrook. It was a true family home.

Eventually, mom and dad knew that they wanted to look for a permanent vacation home.  Mom's closest friend Virginia Aldrich had built a home in York Beach, so that is where the search began.  This was an ideal location because as we grew older, we were able to work at various restaurants in the area.  It was also ideal for Dad because he was able to join the York Golf Club where he was a member for 42 years.  The new home also provided sufficient land for him to have a large vegetable garden.  It always reminded me of the garden that his mother had at their home on Halford Street in Gardner.
Mom loved this house. Even more, loved being next door to her friend Ginny. The two of them were master shoppers and would spend many a day bargain hunting together.

The home in York became a second home for all of us when when we had children. The grandchildren would spend weeks in York every summer.  Carol and her husband Paul and 2 children Ariel and Andy would spend every summer in York.  Gail, along with Stan and their 2 daughters, Eleni and Toula also were frequent visitors as was Jody and her 3 children Doug, Catie and Ben.  As with the home in Gardner, the home in York was always filled with warmth and love and sense of family.  Carol was married there, Jody’s wedding party was held there, and Doris and Alex celebrated their 50th anniversary there among family and friends.  Maggie eventually took over the home so that it would forever be in the family.

Mom spent her later years enjoying her grandchildren, traveling the world with Virginia and her daughter Jody, and caring for those she loved.  She was extremely generous to everyone and never asked for anything in return.
When her mother was afflicted with Alzheimers she cared for her in her home until she and dad could no longer properly provide the care she needed.  She was placed in a nursing facility, but mom was there 3 times a day making sure that she was cared. She would feed and bathe her to make sure that she received the care that she deserved.  She did this every day for at least 6 hours a day until her mother passed away in 1992.
When her sister Grace became ill and needed a heart operation in Boston, Mom went with her and stayed in a motel nearby.  When Grace came home, she cared for her in Graces's own home until her death in 2011.

My dad was once asked how he would describe my mother.  He told me that his answer always was that she was the kindest and sweetest person you could ever know.  But, should you do her or anyone close to her harm or treat her unfairly, you would see a tough and aggressive side of her that was rarely exposed.  He also said that she was very religious in her own way. She donated to religious orders and prayed every night. The highlight of her youth was meeting the Pope.  She was a very sincere Catholic and religious in her daily life.

Her final years were spent in the home she and dad loved.  Dad lovingly cared for her until she passed away in May of 2021. Her passing has left a void in the lives of all who knew her, but is most strongly felt by her beloved Alex.  One can't help but feel the presence of that 'force of nature' whenever you enter the home.  Her spirit is in every room.  Her warmth and love for her husband and family is ever present.