Growing up as your niece..
When I think of my Uncle Benny, I realize just how many of my childhood memories have him woven into them. He wasn’t just my uncle, he was my adult best friend, someone I looked up to tremendously, and someone I truly thought I wanted to be just like when I grew up.
When I was little and we lived in Paterson, I had a dog named Randy who had a talent for running away basically every day. I would call Uncle Benny crying, and somehow, every single time, he would find Randy and bring him home. And as if finding my runaway dog wasn’t enough, Benny would always come back with an ice cream for me from the ice cream truck that came through our block. At the time, it felt like the greatest thing in the world. Looking back, I realize it was one of those little ways he made me feel safe, loved, and taken care of. I knew that if I called him, he would come.
Benny seemed to know everything. He knew houses inside and out, could fix just about anything under the sun, and somehow seemed to know everything there was to know about the law. As a kid, I was convinced he must have been a lawyer. I was fascinated by how much he knew and how effortlessly he seemed to figure things out. I admired him so much.
As I got a little older, some of my favorite memories were the countless hours I spent riding around with him, scoping out properties and going to estate sales. He would always find something interesting, and somehow he almost always found something really cool for me too. Looking back now, I’m pretty sure those days are where my love of vintage and unique things began. He had a way of making ordinary adventures feel special.
He was also completely obsessed with yellow buggies. When I was young, I would go to school fairs and, if I saw a yellow buggy poster or figurine, I knew I had to get it for Uncle Benny. He would proudly display them all over his office, and I loved seeing the little things I had picked out for him scattered around his world.
And then there were the midnight waffles.
Benny lived upstairs from my grandmother in Prospect Park, and every once in a while, he would come downstairs late at night carrying the waffle maker and a bottle of wine. All the adults would gather it was Uncle Benny, Nonna, my mom, Zia, Zio Vinny, and Robin, who was his girlfriend at the time and they would make waffles, drink wine, laugh, and spend time together. I was the kid in the middle of it all, taking in these moments without realizing at the time just how special they were. Those late-night waffles are memories I will always treasure.
One Christmas memory that I will never forget happened when I was about three or four years old. Uncle Benny gave me a shoebox full of money. I remember crying because I didn’t understand the concept at all. I wanted toys! What was I supposed to do with a shoebox full of money? 😂 It didn’t take me very long to figure out that the shoebox was definitely better than the toys.
When I look back on all of these memories, what stands out most isn’t the waffles, the yellow buggies, the estate sales, the ice cream, or even the shoebox of money. It’s the fact that Benny was always there throughout my childhood. He made time for me. He took me along on his adventures. He listened to me when I cried about my runaway dog. He encouraged my curiosity and introduced me to things that would become little pieces of who I am today.
He was a great uncle.
I looked up to him so much when I was young, and I think a little piece of that little girl who wanted to be just like her Uncle Benny will always be with me.
I wish I could go back and tell that little girl how lucky she was to have him.
I will miss you forever, Uncle Benny. Thank you for all the memories, all the adventures, all the laughs, the late-night waffles, the ice cream, and for being such an important part of my childhood. I’ll carry those memories and you with me for the rest of my life.