Beverly Ross

Eulogy written by Robert W. Ross, Beverly's oldest son: On January 15, 1939 Francis and Mirrel were married. It was an exciting time for them as they began their family consisting of Lucille, Edmond, Betty, and a new baby who was named Francis Lee. According to Grandpa, this is where our story begins. Each child brought great joy and happiness and found a special place in the hearts of their parents. Grandpa worked mostly late at night or early in the morning to provide for his family. It was with great love and adoration that they both labored to care for the needs of their children. As the new baby needed constant care in the evening, she could be found sleeping next to her mother. For as the baby would awaken each night, her tender mother would tend to nursing and cuddling her. Grandma describes the love she felt for her children and how one morning she awoke and sensed something was wrong. The baby was not moving or breathing. Francis Lee had passed away in the night. She was only 3 months 17days old. With the death of this child, a great emptiness was felt within the hearts of Grandma and Grandpa. Some have even felt the trauma of the event changed them forever. As Grandma was very sorrowful over the death of Francis Lee, she wanted to have another baby. She wanted to somehow fill the huge gap she felt in her heart with the joy that comes from having a new baby. On May 5, 1945, Beverly was brought forth as the Fifth child in the family. Following Beverly came Don and Henry and Bonnie and, last of all, Judy. These were the children born to Grandma and Grandpa and each was loved and cared for as best they could during the 1940’s, 1950’s, 1960’s and 1970’s. They lived in the East -Bottoms and in Melton Wood, which was North of Riverside. They also owned a home in the country near Tonganoxie, Kansas. Their weeks were full of fun and love. Grandpa remembers how he would love to play with the young children on the floor whenever he could and likes to share his memories about bob-sleighing behind an old Harley Davidson MotorCycle or the Old Willies Jeep that each child would soon learn to drive; mostly learning to drive backwards before he would let them drive forward. He had strict but loving rules for them all. Snapping fingers and correction for not honoring the rules was what kept things respectful between child and parent. Each child played a major role in the home and each had chores to do. Beverly was a very determined soul. She was very clever in getting housework that she hated, like washing dishes, completed by her sisters or brothers. Lucille tells of a time that she was so frustrated that she broke an unbreakable brush on Beverly’s head during one of these clever spells. Bonnie speaks of Beverly as having a very protective spirit, not afraid of anything. She was a brilliant older sister and took her role as such very responsibly. Several times Bonnie would be having trouble adjusting in Kindergarten and Beverly would be called over from the High School to come and help. Bonnie always felt protected when Beverly was around. Bonnie also recalls how Beverly would hang her hair over her crib and let her touch it until she fell asleep. To this day, Bonnie still enjoys the memory of her doing this for her. Bedding was crowded. Most of the times there were 3-4 children to one bed. Grandpa was very talented in creating enough space for all to sleep. Most nights the children would sleep head to toe and toe to head. Vacations were taken as time permitted and sometimes took the family as far south as Southern Missouri and Arkansas looking for a place to swim or camp. Once Grandma and Grandpa went on Vacation without the children and decided it was not nearly as fun as if they had taken them, so from there on out everyone got to go. Beverly would tell stories about her childhood to her children and each one was very much enjoyed. Beverly watched as her sister Lucille was married and felt a need to find someone too. He had to be someone special. He had to be just what she needed. She didn’t want to marry just any man. Bob Ross was a good-looking young man. He was handsome and very determined to find his way in the world and one night he found himself at the county fair where he met Beverly. She was a bit shy and when he asked if he could take her home, she said, “ Only if my brother Don can go too.” She would later tell her children how awkward it was getting taken home that night and how sorry she felt for Dad. Dad has a very gentle, quiet side and it was difficult for him to work up the courage he needed to go see Mom. He passed by the house in a very nice car, not once but several times. Mom was worried he would never stop and come up to the house. When he did finally stop, Grandma remembers her little girl running out the back of the house and hiding in the outside toilet. Dad met Grandpa and came into the house. Mom soon came back in too. Grandpa recalls the conversation as, “So, you want to go with my daughter?” And dad said, “Yes.” In a letter to her future daughter-in-law, Jane, dated March 24, 1985 she writes: “Dear Jane, I am so glad Rob has met you and I understand the feelings you felt about knowing you were going to marry him before you even met him. It’s the same feeling I got when I met Bob. We dated 3 months and got married. We’ve been married for 22 1/2 years. He had to ask my Mom and Dad if he could marry me. Bob is real shy and never did talk much so it was real hard for him to ask. When he finally got up the nerve to talk to my dad, Dad asked him, “What are you thinking about Bob?” Bob said, “Getting married.” Dad said, “ Who are you going to marry?” Bob said, “Beverly.” Dad asked him if he was able to support a family. Bob said, “I’m not marrying the whole family.” Dad said one and one makes two then three and so on. Little did we know it would add up to six.” On November 30, 1962, Beverly and Bob were married and their life together began. On October 24, 1963 the first child was born. Her name was JoAnn and she was beautiful. She was daddy’s girl and daddy would call her his little pumpkin and it was wonderful. Dad had a lot of struggles and Mom was always there helping him through them. On November 16, 1964, I was born. My name is Rob. On October 17, 1967 another son was born. His name was Gary. When Dad wanted to start his own Company, Mom was right beside him. He found it challenging and hard work and, with each step, Mom would be right there helping him along. With the age of CB radios, every family member had a CB Handle, Mom’s being Buttercup and Dad’s being Trotliner. In the evening, we kids would wait by the CB base and wait for him to call us and tell us he was heading home. It was very exciting. Throughout the 1970’s, Dad struggled and he and Mom both learned to trust a Higher Power. Mom would always say, “Butterflies are Free and One Day at a Time” while Dad would learn the 12 steps to take to overcome his challenges. These early memories of struggle are woven into the very fabric of my soul. And as a result, I remind my Dad he is my greatest hero. Fishing and Camping, some of Dad’s favorite past times were very much a part of our lives. Weekend car trips in the country to ease stress and enjoy family company were always memorable. Thanksgiving and Christmas were Mom’s favorite times of the year. It would mean a large get-together at her house and we would all eat turkey dressing and enjoy each other’s company. I recall the special Christmases when there was not much money and we gave what we had by making gifts for each other. Dad would be down in the basement making wonderful toys for each of us children. Stilts or sleds or wooden cars and trucks are just a few things he would help Santa with. Dad always wanted Mom to have the best and would spend his time trying to wrap her gifts so she would have a surprise gift under the tree. One year Dad gave Mom a brand new Microwave oven and said, “Now Mamma you can have a real HOT hot dog all the way through the center.” The dream of a new home was often on Dad’s mind. And in 1978 some land was purchased and a foundation started to build a dream house. As the years went by things changed and the house moved along slowly. Mom would live to tell about the tornadoes that flew around while living in the basement. She would talk about tearing down two old houses; one at Spring Hill and the other now located in the Hillsdale Lake bottom. Square nails and wooden pegs were a common subject as we discussed how we tore the old barn down. She really loved working along side Dad and it showed in her face when she would brag about the wonderful things he could make. She never regretted the experiences gained during this time and often told me how much better of a man I am because of the struggles we endured. Ceramics became one of the many items she introduced to her family. She often was a trendsetter. Judy recalls she taught me how to ski and gave me my first chip and dip. Bonnie says, “She gave me my first taco, first burrito and first slice of pizza. She would pierce our ears with a potato and ice cube.” Mom was very strong and seemed to not be afraid of anything. Protection and love she gave without fear. “She always had such long fingernails”, recalls Bonnie. How she did that no one knows. She would challenge her children to be strong and, in some ways, we grew to challenge her. In 1979, two Missionaries from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints came up the dirt road and introduced themselves. Their names were Elder Tom Olsen and Elder Martin King. Through a series of discussions, the spirit touched the hearts of those present and, within months, Mom had to know if the church was true for herself. Her children were to be baptized the following day and she could not sleep. The things the Missionaries had said kept entering her mind. Over and over they had said that it would be better for the children if she was baptized too. As she could not get to sleep, she muttered a simple prayer of faith in which she asked Heavenly Father to send someone the next day to ask her if she would be baptized. The very next day, immediately after entering the building, a church member walked out of a meeting and went right up to her and said, “ I understand your children are being baptized today. And how about yourself?” The spirit was very powerful she would testify later, in so much that she too joined the church that same day. With a new testimony came new responsibility and it was not long until Shannon, and David and Trebor became members of our family. Mom always fought to keep her children on the straight and narrow path. If you brought a girl home, she expected you to have her home on time. She was always looking out for the good of her children and always loved them. We learned to draw on her strength and support. Little did we realize that she needed us just as much as we needed her. In a letter dated March 4, 1984 to me she writes, “Rob, I could never make it without your dad to pull me through some of the rocks and hard places. He has such a special spirit about him that really glows at times.” Many letters speak of missionary work she was doing and asking if we could put different people’s names in the temple prayer rolls for additional support. You would always find her giving of herself to her family and friends be it a kind heart to listen or a helping hand to move a mountain. Dad was always her sweet heart. She loved him through out her life and was always devoted to him. She envisioned them being sealed in the temple and wanted this more than anything else in the world. She would often get frustrated because he did not seem to feel the same towards the church as the rest of us did. In another letter Mom writes, “Hopefully, he will join the church. I keep telling him he would make a good Mormon. He just grins. I tell him he is a dry Mormon. He just needs to get wet. Elder Ross is going to come home and baptize him (so he says). I’m sure he will.” “At times”, she continues, “Bob needs a push now and then. Especially if it is a change, but I have to be careful how I push, if I’m not he won’t budge an inch. A lot of the time I have to let him think it’s his idea not mine.” I served a mission in 1984 and found her to be my greatest strength. In reading the many letters that she had written to me, I find precious thoughts and memories of the younger days of raising children. I will share one such letter with you now. June 11, 1984 Dear Rob, Well it’s another day. Dad and Gary have gone to work. The floor is in need of a good scrubbing, dishes for two days await for some eager hands. The laundry is in dire need to be cleaned. The living room needs a helping hand. Bed sheets need to be changed. The bathroom, well the cabinet is packed and ready to move on. In Shannon and David’s room you cannot find it. I’ll have to part the way to find the bed that has a mountain of clothes on it. It rained so much, the basement had about 4 inches of water in it. All of the clothes down there got wet. So Dad washed them and put them on the bed. I guess that is one way to get them washed. Well Rob its 6:45. Dad is fixing supper. The dishes got the hands but I can tell they weren’t eager. The floor got scrubbed twice because Trebor decided I needed help. So he spilled potato chips, water, and apple pie on it...after I mopped it the first time. I finally made it to the bedroom to fold clothes. Trebor decided he would help once more. He takes the trash out of the trashcan and strings it into the bedroom and puts the trash on top of the clean clothes. I take the trash out of the clean clothes, bring the trash back into the kitchen to find garbage and trash all over the kitchen floor again. I clean that up, find my way into the living room, sweep it out, then I start to clean the entryway. I’m in the middle of scrubbing it and here comes Mister Helpful. This time he drops potato chips on the carpet and comes over to check out what I’m doing. I tell him to stop. He is in full speed ahead with no stop. He slips on the wet floor and cracks his head. He decides this is no place he wants to be, cries some and he is up and ready to explore the clean clothes again. He takes the one’s I have folded and throws them back into the clothes can once again. I make my way back to the bedroom to finish up. Little did I know I had to start all over again. I got Dad and my clothes put away and Gary’s put in the clothes can. Then Gary and Dad come in. Gary heads right for the bedroom popping questions. Has Shawn called? Did anyone come by? I said, “No.” Then Dad came in. He said, “What’s going on?” (Dad’s famous question.) I told him I was in a grippy mood. He asked me why. I told him I did not really know. He said, “ Momma, I’m sorry you had a bad day.” I told him, “So was I.” Well, Rob, I’m writing this letter while your Dad is fixing supper and Gary is doing his chores. Now that I told you my episode for the day, I know why I got grippy. I guess I’ll sign off and get this in the mail. By the way, I didn’t put the little things Shannon and David did. They didn’t seem like that much, if one compares them to Trebor’s episodes of the day. He usually isn’t that bad, sometimes he’s worse. (No, he isn’t). He likes to explore, like going down to visit the rooster in the chicken yard or out to see if the car has air in the tires or David and Trebor will try to fix Dad’s lawn mower. David runs around with his little trusty screwdriver and his keys that will start anything (so he thinks). Both boys love to see how high they can climb then see if they can hang on long enough to keep from falling. They don’t always get the job done. I want you to know everything is just fine. Being a parent has its ups and downs. But the rewards are great. Much greater than a person could pretend. Well, Rob, I was going to quit writing a page back. I guess I’d better quit. Trebor is chasing Shannon with the fly swatter. I hope this doesn’t make you home sick. We love you. We are so proud of you and your work. Take care. Love Ya. Mom P.S. Save this for my Journal. P.S.S. When Dad came in I told him he was just as cute tonight as he was this morning when he left. You should have seen his grin. I love to make him grin. Bye Bye I returned home from my mission in the summer of 1985 after serving the Lord for 18 months. She often reminded me of how much she enjoyed the time I was away because it was like all the blessings she needed she and Dad received. Her dreams of Dad becoming a member of the church did occur not long afterwards. As I baptized my father, she was very proud of him. She was thrilled to be his wife and the mother to his children. They were sealed in the Jordan River Temple, July 19, 1988 for Time and All Eternity and, not long after this, his children were to become a part of his new eternal family. She had strong feelings about her callings and responsibilities in the church and she was very diligent in her service to others. As Jane and I made plans to be married, she along with Dad drove the many miles to Utah to be near us when we were sealed in September of 1985. Though she could not be there for us she was there for Dad. And as our children were born she was kind and loving towards them. Each was very special to her. Her desire to cherish them is evident in the many kind words and deeds she was able to share with them. She and Dad have 6 grandchildren, one having already met her beyond the veil along with Francis Lee. Each one has a part of her within them. Strong wills. Enduring senses of Courage. And a great loyalty to close friends and family. They too set goals and standards, which are worthy of her mention. And they all share the dislike for washing dishes. The names of the Grandchildren are Hannah Mae, Jessica Marie, Robert William Apps, Geoffrey Moroni, Lucy Jane, and Sophie Elizabeth. Each will feel this loss in their lives as will each of us here today. In letting each child know of the passing of Grandma, Lucy asked, “Is Grandma an Angel now?” “I am sure she is,” we told her. “Good,” she said.