Jeremi Smith

Jeremi was the baby. And boy, did we baby him growing up. He had our older brother, Jon, who taught him how to scream like a girl when his three sisters chased him. He had our older sister, Cathie, who showed him how to do cartwheels in the middle of the living room, flipping over every piece of furniture we ever owned. He had our second oldest sister and my twin, Sonja, who taught how to question everything and ride his bike downhill with both hands in the air, no matter how many times mom freaked out. Then, there was me, his second mom. Where do you think he learned to be stubborn, ornery, and a “talker”…and maybe his attitude. I was the one he would call when he needed someone to tell him what he didn’t want to hear but needed to hear. Finally, he had our brother, Jeff, who couldn’t wait to be a big brother. Now, he’s the baby brother. He was Jeremi’s best friend who would challenge him to a duel on the roof of our house and how to build the most epic of mudslides off the top of the shed to slide into a big mud puddle. The sounds and words that came out of mom’s mouth that day. Especially when she found out they used her silver spoons to make their mud hole. It wasn’t just his sisters and brothers who doted on Jeremi and spoiled him. Our beautiful mother loved him more than I could put into words. And he sure loves her just as much. When she passed away, it was no secret that he lost his way for a time and didn’t make the best decisions for himself. One thing he never lost was knowing that he always had God on his side. Jeremi was giving and overly generous, even to those who didn’t deserve it. He loves taking pictures of everything and everybody. He had a kind heart and would give the shirt off his back. And he probably did. My brother also has three beautiful girls that are the spitting image of him. It’s as if God used carbon paper to make little copies of baby Jeremis. Jessica, Shae Lee, and Reagan, I hope you know he loved you girls, no matter what. Nothing ever changed that. We are blessed to see his smile, his eyes, and even some of his attitude in all of you. As we lay Jeremi to rest, I know most of us are still reeling from the tragedy that took my brother’s life. I know I am. We’re all trying to make sense of this, to understand the reason why this happened. Many people are going to tell us, at some point, it was his time to go; or that he’s in a better place. Jeremi may be in a better place but I wanted him here with us. The day I found out about Jeremi’s passing, I questioned myself. Did I say enough “I love yous”, or so enough to show him how lucky I was to be his big sister, or tell him he was enough. Because he was. He left us all too soon. I wanted more time. I want to hear his awkward laugh, see his half grin, or hear him call my name as if it had more than two lengthy syllables just to be funny. I wasn’t ready to let him go. I’m still not ready. He was the baby of our crazy, most wonderful circus of a family. I read a quote once. It said, “goodbyes hurt the most when the story is not finished and the book has been closed”. Jeremi’s story wasn’t finished. He still had more chapters he was writing about healing, forgiveness, love, and happiness. I will continue to write his story where he left off and preserve all of the good things he was with the memories he’s left behind. When you think of Jeremi, let them be the good memories. I found a poem that I thought would be fitting for Jeremi and maybe even some of you. It’s called the Train of Life. “At birth we board the train and meet our parents; we believe they will always travel by our side. As time goes by, other people will board the train; they will be significant (like a brother, a sister, other family, and closest friends). However, at some station, our parents will step down from the train, leaving us on this journey alone. Others will step down over time and leave a permanent vacuum. Some, however, will go unnoticed that we don’t realize they vacated their seats. This train ride will be full of joy, sorrow, fantasy, expectations, hellos, goodbyes, and farewells. Success won’t be measured by the amount of money we make, the things that we own, or the degrees we have. Success consists of having a good relationship with all passengers that we give the best of ourselves. We do not know at which station we, ourselves, will step down. So we must live in the best way, love, forgive, and offer the best of who we are. When the time comes for each of us to step down and leave our seat empty, we should leave behind beautiful memories for those who will continue to travel on the Train of Life. I rejoice in knowing Jeremi is home with our beautiful mother and I will see him again one glorious day. I love you baby brother.