John Downie III

John was born to be amazing.

John was a longtime resident of Old Saybrook, & loved to live. If you were lucky enough to know him, you were lucky to know a truly amazing person.

John spent 39 years with his wife Donna (Murray) in Saybrook. Together they built their house, and made it their home. John deeply loved his wife Donna, who pre-deceased him in 2017. Together, they wove a tapestry of life that can only be described as incredible. They built, traveled, had an amazing network of Framily. Donna belonged to the "Ladies Night" group, and they all became women that were family to Donna, John, and Kelly. John and Donna laughed hard, fought harder, and loved hardest. They were a couple that was truly a team in every sense of the word. Together, you could call on them for anything, and together, they could conquer anything.

Following Donna's passing, John spent much of his time with "his Vagrant", Joanne. The two of them couldn't have been more different, but they had a strong love for each other, and in the short time they were able to be together produced laugher that still rings through air.

As the oldest of the Downie children, John took pride in his siblings Peter, Heather, and Jamie. John had the joy of growing older with his mother still around and in her home. With her sight and hearing "no longer what it used to be" John spent every Tuesday afternoons "grunting" from one couch to his mother on the other during their visits.

Always protective of his siblings and their children, he was devastated when his sister (Heather) passed and then her daughter (Morgan). Tougher than he let on.

Often having spirited discussions with his brothers, he would get passionate when he strongly believed something...but he never meant to hurt them. Their pain was his pain, and his pain was only for him.

No matter what - his siblings were always his priority. He was loyal and defensive of them fiercely. His best friend was his brother Jamie. Peter, being calmer and even more relaxed than John, was often his grounding rod. John loved them both very very much.

John was predeceased by his mother by merely two months.

In 2018, John's son Mike entered the family...and John was so honored and proud of the man that Mike was, the amazing family he cultivated, but unspeakably grateful to the family that raised Mike to be the amazing man he is. Graciously, Mike and his family took John, Kelly, and Evan in as members of their family and no one has looked back! John fondly spoke of his trips to Nebraska; highlighted by seeing one of the great loves of his life, his son, his daughter in law, but most importantly his grandchildren and great grandchildren. Almost as much as he loved his grandchildren, he held highest acclaim for his daughter in law Kari, loving her and often referring to her as his bonus daughter. He knew what each of his grandchildren and son and bonus daughter did during the day (work or school) and would tell everyone who would listen in Connecticut how proud he was of each and every one of them. In detail-carrying photos and folded hand written cards daily in his pockets. And he meant it.

Additionally, John made amazing cheeseburgers just ask his 2nd daughter Sarah. John referred to Sarah as his second daughter, and the two of them would often laugh together and come up with "great ideas" - like the time Sarah brought John home a new cat. John then taught that cat to walk on a leash and be his dog. John was always incredibly curious about the going-on's in Sarah's children's lives - proud of them, and excited to hear how they were growing up. John was proud of everything Sarah had accomplished as well; always proud of her.

John was an amazing best friend to Cheryl, his and Donna's friend (his friend of over 1/2 a century), with her graciously stepping in as Kelly's honorary mom and accompanying John for Kelly and Evan's wedding. John and Cheryl shared a special bond and friendship that could take years to share and explain.

John was also the most involved and the best girl dad anyone could have ever asked for. His daughter Kelly blindly believes that he is the best man ever...no changing her mind on that.

Together, John taught Kelly so many of the subjects that she couldn't grasp in school. They made "total devastation" projects to learn science and math, much to the schagrin of Donna, who often emphasized that she was going to clean that mess up. John's lessons must have stuck, Kelly graduated with honors.

John always made sure that Kelly knew that he was proud of her, no matter how mundane the accomplishment. After Donna passed, Kelly and her husband Evan moved to Saybrook where it wasn't so much of Kelly and Evan be caregivers for John as much as supervisors, den-parents, safety inspectors, chefs, and accountants.

Keeping track of John involved a detailed "network" of surveillance that he never quite figured out. John made the most out of the life he built for himself/his family, and Kelly thought (while slightly panicking at times) this was great and was his biggest cheerleaders for his adventures. When John was found, it could be with the guys or just at the beach singing (too) loud from the car. This substituted from when John was a dancing and singing machine!

John and Evan would work together and discuss projects that needed to be done at the house that John could no longer do alone. Evan was quick to fix and take care of all of these things (both at the house, and when needed for others). John cared deeply for Evan, often referring to him as "son."

During John's last hospital stay, you could find him peeping into meetings that Kelly was having on her computer. John would developed a rapport with Kelly's colleagues and supervisors, often stating "If you need her to come in, I'll be fine here!" Then letting Kelly know he was worried about her losing her job because she was with him; Kelly didn't lose her job.

By all accounts, prior to being in the hospital, John was a 70+ year old teenager with a debit and credit card. And THE Sports car...that silly little Honda that he could often be found driving through the car wash and getting a detailing service- surprising to anyone who knew how he allowed his previous vehicles to get.

Unfortunately, John's last wish to feel the sun and the breeze on his skin could not be met. While Kelly offered everything she could, worked with everyone at the hospital to try to figure out how to do it, there was no way to get him outside safely. John then told Kelly she could find him in every good thing that came her way, everytime the wind was at her back.

It was Kelly's great privilege and honor to be holding her father in one last hug while he passed. More than dirt.

John was a loving husband, parent, brother, bonus parent, uncle, Godfather, grandfather, and by all accounts a fantastic friend. He also gave amazing bear hugs.

John was an amazing friend, and everyone who knew him knew that their secrets, mistakes, opinions, whatever was always safe with him. There was absolutely nothing more important to John than his family. You didn't have to be blood related to be John's family.

John will be missed by all, loved by many, and more than dirt (MTD) by his daughter. John will be welcomed in heaven by too many to name; but it's really getting to be a heck of party up there!

Kelly would like to deeply thank everyone who traveled and came to see John during his last few months at the hospital. It truly meant the world to all of us, although he would have told you you didn't have to do that -- thank you for those that did.

Kelly would also like to thank the staff and Lawrence & Memorial Hospital for absolutely everything.

John's children want to remind everyone to check on their strong friends.

If you or your friends need professional support (for anything), please make sure they get it before it's too late...live your life, but remember your actions have consequences that might leave those you leave behind hurting. There's no shame in getting help and support.

Please see the link below for his formal obituary-- https://www.dignitymemorial.com/obituaries/old-saybrook-ct/john-downie-11933808