Stories

Thinking of you...

As the days march on. Your always in my thoughts. The little things that I miss. Texting you throughout the day saying hi and checking in on you to make sure you were alright. Coming home and just actually seeing you. I miss having your presence at home, miss you just sitting there in your chair and us watching the golden girls that we both have seen a million times, use quoting the many great lines from the show in and through the day when it was appropriate to quote them. I miss your smart-ass comments throughout the day. I miss seeing you love on our babies and hearing you bitch about giving them treats when they came to hound you for them, but you wouldn't have it any other way, they had you wrapped around their little paws as you always said. Throughout the years we have been through hell and back, our ups and downs and changes that came with life. I always wanted to make sure you are loved in any form or fashion that our journey together and changes that came with it. I always wanted to make sure you were taken care of to the best of my abilities, and I always appreciated everything that you had done for us and our journey together. I miss you Hector but knowing you are with you mom and no longer have the physical, emotional, painful symptoms that ravaged your physical body makes my heart and spirit at ease. I still going to miss the fuck out of you, but I know you're in good hands. I love you

As we are about to hit one one month tomorrow that you have been gone, the hurt has just gotten worse, but your signs of watching over us are there, & I am thankful for that. I am not sure if you knew that Becky, Juliana, & I raise monarch butterflies from eggs, or caterpillars that have already started their journey into becoming a butterfly. The day that you passed, I just wanted & kept asking you for some kind of sign that you were ok. As I walked around the campground where we camp every August in NH trying to take in one of the worst days I have had in my life, I stopped at a milkweed plant that I have been to a half a dozen times to get leaves from to feed the babies I already had, there you were! My first sign! My campground Hector! 😇 You are very close to hatching. Today or maybe tomorrow. As we walked the beach on our last full day of vacation on 8/22, it was cold & rainy. Of course by the time we got to the very end of the beach I had to use the bathroom 🙃, we went to some restrooms over some sand dooms & then decided we would just walk the strip back to the car instead of going back down & walking the beach back to the car. We took a different path we have never taken before to get onto the strip. I just so happen to turn to the right, & there you were again on a little piece of leaf left the plant you were on. Walk a few more feet, & there you were AGAIN in front of Juliana for her to find! Our Hampton Beach Hector’s! 😇😇 Anyone that knows you, knows the beach, any beach was just your favorite place to be. There is milkweed along the whole beach side of the strip, & I check it every year, & never found babies there. Our beach Hector’s have hatched & been released. When we came home on 9/23, you were already here waiting for me to find you on our own milkweed. 😇 PLEASE keep your signs coming. ♥️

Eulogy from Tammy Brigg Hectors closest and dearest friend and always considered family.

To My Gay Husband, My Best Friend, this will be the hardest eulogy I have written yet. 29 yrs of your friendship & unconditional love, there is SO MUCH to say with the memories I have played over & over in my mind since you had to leave us. Life as I knew it before 8/16/26, will never be the same. Everyone wishes to always have just one more day with a lost loved one, to be able to say all they didn’t when they could have. I have wondered if I let you know enough how much you meant. How I am forever thankful & grateful. I know & will never forget how lucky I am that I hit the absolute jackpot of friendships the day I was blessed to have met you. You ALWAYS went above & beyond for Me, Becky, Joe, & Juliana knowing EVERY SINGLE TIME that I had nothing to offer back to you but my friendship, NEVER judging me. Your friendship & company is all I ever needed. I remember meeting you at McDonald’s where you were a manager. Being invited to You & Jim’s housewarming for the condo. Beach trips. Most memorable one with Becky, Michele, & Bailey when we were having lunch on the blanket, & the guy next to us was squatting down facing us with his stuff hanging out of the bottom of his shorts. We laughed for years about that! Many club nights dancing, drinking, people watching, with long deep conversations on rides home where we laughed or cried & confided in each other's secrets or worries knowing what we talked about would stay between just us. Gay Pride parade in NY, feeding baby Joey’s cool ranch Doritos at Jim’s family’s where I was invited. You & Jim became such a huge part of our life. You have encouraged so many lifelong decisions I have made or let me know when things were not in my best interest because you wanted what was best for me. When I took the step & changed Becky’s & my whole life to move & start a family together with Joe in MA, you made me believe it was the right choice & told me it would be ok. It ended up being one of the best decisions I have made. You taught me how to drive at 26 in your black VW beetle in the parking lot of Holy Cross HS & around the streets of Waterbury. Took me for my test so I would get my l would get my license & be able to drive once in MA. Making MANY trips up to MA because you knew how uncomfortable I was highway driving. Even driving up 7/16/25 to visit us. Not coming empty handed as usual or the trip to Red Robin for lunch that you never let me pay for. My last hug from your forever was that day. I will cherish that memory always. I did make it driving to & yes Becky & I got lost coming to your wedding. What a special day. Lunch at Red Robin with You & Abel. My heart did break a little when you were taken to FL, but I did have to remember that is probably how you felt when I was taken to MA. You even made it for Luca’s first birthday party when you were going to be moving the very next day. The cards that I have sent to you every week for the last 7 years, 8 months are will never be enough to tell you how much you were thought of, loved, missed, & wished nothing but the best, & how much you meant to us. YOU WERE SO courageous, kind, smart, witty, an amazing cook & the best host, stylish, funny, humble, giving, strong, understanding, hardworking, caring, such pride you had, handsome, generous, thoughtful, forgiving, you loved unconditionally, you had a heart of gold, & were beautiful on the inside & out, but there will ALWAYS be one word that best describes you…. SELFLESS! As long as I have known you, you ALWAYS put everyone else’s needs before your own even at your worst. I just don’t know how you did. Thank you, Hector, for who you were & how you made me feel so special. You said no tears! But…… so hard knowing there are no more morning texts, no cards in my mail holder on my side table next to the couch to mail out at work on Friday’s. I love you & you will be thought of & missed for the rest of my days till we see each other again. Love, Your Straight Wife, & best friend, Tammy Rest in Peace My Beautiful Bestie I know! I know! “GET OUT” you are saying. 🥹

The great chef and dessert maker

The great chef and dessert maker!!!!

You and all your delicious meal and deserts you made throughout the years. Everyone loved your cooking and desserts. Especially the one you made for me to take to work for any occasion that popped up the holiday and so on. They were delicious and beautiful. Everyone couldn't wait to see what you were going to come up with.

My dearest Hector, There are no words to express how much I miss you. It seems as the days go by it only gets worse to times of unbearable sadness. I miss our daily conversations. I miss your laugh. I miss my best friend. I will forever be grateful for you and our friendship. Thankful we found each other at challenging times in our lives. You made every day errands incredibly fun. Daily runs to Publix, Aldi’s & Dollar Store. I loved every minute of whatever we were doing. Some of my favorite memories that will always bring a smile to my face , perhaps even a laugh , were our game nights. The belly laughs were contagious- truly times of pure joy for all of us. Tears running down our faces from uncontrollable laughter. It was magnificent. I have no idea how I will cope returning to Teka with you not being there. I simply cannot imagine it. I am so grateful I was able to see you in June & take you out for your birthday. Never in a million years did I think that would be our last cheers together. You were truly one of the best friends I have ever known. I love you so much unconditionally and always. Lisa xoxo